I think we should start this again from the top. As more and more people start to read my blog, they seem to just take the most recent one that’s there, and use that to create an initial opinion about me. That’s not wrong, it’s just common sense. If you want to get a quick overview of what someone is like, just take a small “sample” of their life and see what you can infer from it. However, the point I raised in my “stereotyping” post is that after we make that initial judgement, we should keep our minds open to learning more about the other person that we barely know. After all, we only truly get to know someone after we’ve spent enough time interacting (and observing) them. Only after that can you make a better judgement as to what that person is like.
I certainly would not like anyone, especially new readers, coming to my blog and making an opinion about me just from a single post. And I think to be fair, that swings both ways, to positive and negative comments. So don’t think I’m a good guy from one good post I made, and don’t think I’m purely a bad guy from one negative post I made. If anything (and I know it will be hard for many people to do), I would like people to read through my other posts before making a judgement about me; but if that isn’t helpful, at least read my very first post. Had a short read of it just then, and yeah perhaps there was a bit too much negativity there. But that’s okay I don’t regret publishing it for the world to see.
However, I will agree with myself from two years ago about one thing: I am not a “normal” person. But maybe what I really mean by that is that I’m not a person you can just easily understand. Read every post I’ve ever made and you still probably won’t come close to understanding the person that I was then and am today. I don’t mean to throw people off with that, I would like to share my life with people (which is part of the reason why I blog), but I really don’t want people thinking they can just “guess” me from reading these snippets of my life. And it does start to make me feel angry, because on my end it feels like people have made irrational or unreasonable conclusions about me; however on your end it’s probably a fair opinion based on the evidence in front of you. I guess I can’t discredit you for that. Things are just that inefficient in this world.
Anyway, it is clear to me (well it’s been clear for years now though I never actually addressed it) that many of you will just read my blog and keep quiet about it. There are many of you who will actually come up and talk to me about what I wrote, or leave a comment behind, but for everyone else, you’ll just keep quiet about it, at least from me. I guess that makes sense because I’m not posting about simple, harmless things, like how horrible my Actuarial lecture was today because of how fob my lecturer is. I talk about things that raises moral questions that have no obvious answer. So clearly for anyone to make a statement about these things, you put yourself up to criticism for trying to make things a binary (one thing or another) when it’s not that simple. Okay fair enough, but if I didn’t do that, my blog would be no different from anything random you would find on the Internet, except maybe I wouldn’t have found as many interesting or funny things to share. So clearly, this password protecting thing isn’t going to work, because no-one is going to fess up and say that they read my blog, knowing that you’ll put yourself up to criticism for having an opinion on my opinions.
And so when I post something that’s disagreeable, no-one is going to say anything about it, because just as much I put myself up to criticism for a complex topic, you put yourself up to criticism too by adding your own opinion about it. So for the people who actually reply and give me a counter argument: good, that’s exactly what I want, not an argument, but another opinion. If that person who gives the counter argument holds something against me then okay sure, I said before that if you have to make a judgement about me from one post, then by all means do so (since I can’t really stop you, I can only ask you to not judge harshly). But for everyone else who holds a silent grudge against me over one thing I said, shame on you because you didn’t even have the guts to face me and my opinion. I don’t think I’m being irrational and unreasonable here. If I was, then I won’t really deserve an answer and you would then be free to hold silent grudges against me. But I’m not am I?
One last thing. I am not invincible, so please don’t have any preconceptions that I am. I think my Christian life has been my characteristic that’s been put on display for criticism. If I make one false move then *boom* the world ends (I’m exaggerating of course). I would hope people won’t have unreasonably high expectations of me. If I’m having a bad week due to stress and I’m bitter about something that I normally wouldn’t be then I’m only being genuine. I can easily just keep this blog completely formal, not a hint of my life (well the bad bits really) in it and then no-one can criticise me. I’ll let my negative feelings out in a controlled way here because I am not a perfect person by far, and I hope everyone remembers that for myself, and for all other church leaders. Just because we don’t show our negative emotions to other people, doesn’t mean they’re not there. We’re not always intentionally having bad thoughts about things here and there, but at some point it’s going to happen because sin is inevitable, and we as Christians are not exempt from it.
I really will try not to be discouraging in my posts, but I get the feeling that I’m forced to be encouraging in whatever I do, but people don’t have to show the same attitude back towards me? I will have to think more about that. Please let me remind you that this is my blog and that I do have the freedom to post whatever I want on it, though many times I will not exercise that freedom. But please respect that since you are not the owner of this blog, you have no say in what I can or cannot post. I know that might sound immature of me, but these are indeed unspoken “rules” which have mutual boundaries that we all try to agree on without ever stating to one another (eg: no obscenities and no invading people’s privacy although I could very well do so if I wanted to). But again, I think I’ve said this before, if I do post something you don’t like, I hope you won’t just say to me: “Oh, take this post down because I don’t like it”. I hope instead you would say to me: “Oh, take this post down; I don’t like it because…” Please give me something to work with or you will not be given the same.
Sounds harsh? I hope I won’t have to repeat myself again.