I thought that perhaps this time I should make a post concerning the blog itself. And it arises because it suddenly strikes me that a lot of people do phone me up and open the conversation with: “I read your blog…” It scares me mightily because in today’s society, a phone call means serious urgent business, otherwise an e-mail or msn would suffice. So I immediately have this rotten gut feeling that goes: “Oh no, did my blog offend someone again?” Let’s face it, my expression still needs some work and sometimes I end up exaggerating things. Of course this doesn’t justify what I wrote, it’s my fault nonetheless. Most of the time when people do call me in this fashion the conversation doesn’t lean in the direction of: “Oh my gosh Jason I can’t believe you put this on the Internet, I hate you!” But I do get scared each time.
Having blogged for so many years, having typed up so many words in posts that would probably be enough to complete the HSC 10 times, I’ve tried to develop the right “ethics” in blogging. It took a while to get past all the controversy of typing hate and emo posts; people would tell me that I couldn’t post certain things up. I’d ask why, not knowing what actually was stopping me. And well hopefully today there is no more of that; today I do hope people don’t hate me because of something I wrote about them; in fact I tend to not write about any one person in general unless I make it anonymous; there are facts about people that are confidential and I am certainly in no position to make it public.
A while back I wondered why I started blogging and why I continue to do so today. I wonder if it does achieve anything, in me or in the readers. I wonder how people read this still; part of me feels unpopular for not getting a lot of “hits” but then again part of me is content if even just one person takes an interest in what I write. I will admit that writing this blog has been of help to me. It’s helped me learn to better express myself, to learn what we can and cannot say and to learn about the reactions of other people when they read it.
What I’ve recently been trying to do is to try and show myself to everyone. I don’t really feel much need to hide my life from other people, there isn’t much to hide, not much that can be exploited, right? I somehow falsely assume that to be the case with other people, my mistake. But in being a Christian, how do we show ourselves to be a consistent follower of Christ? I blog hoping that people can see Christ in me, and when Christ isn’t there someone would see and immediately say to me: “Ha! And you call yourself a Christian!” In having God able to se all aspects of your life, I would like to remind myself that fact, by living it out in front of other people.
In that way my blog is my shield because it defends who I am; I don’t need someone who’s never met me before to cast some sort of final judgement on me of who I probably am. I could care less in opening my mouth to defend myself; let my words of the past do the talking. It is rough in trying to be consistently “godly”. Should I ever need some sort of reminder of a good moment, or a bad moment, I have this blog to document it. People can then judge me through this: does Christ permeate my life in both the times you see me in person and in times where I’m “hiding" in secrecy?
I’ve also decided to started writing up Christian articles; sometimes I wonder if I’m too young to share any sort of “spiritual knowledge”, whether I’m actually mature enough to know anything that could be of use. I like to think I do, but my opinion is a rather bad indicator for this. That is why it is up here for the world to see. I want to share what I’ve learnt because this is what Jesus Christ has taught me, to share the good news, to share wisdom and knowledge so that everyone can benefit. We all like it if there were free classes that taught us arts and skills that we were interested in; I suppose my blog is similar in a way. I can reach a wide audience through this medium and I can carefully select my audience; it’s simply whoever wants to read my blog. If you don’t want to then don’t, simple as that.
In this way, my blog is my sword. I can carry on my duty as a Christian and I can make a difference in the world if I can impart some stories or thoughts that can create inspiration. Like I said, even if my sword reaches out to only one person, it is still a credible change. I hope to inspire thought because I believe people can make use of it; it simply makes everyone more efficient. I guess that’s a hard concept to explain, the desire to share what we have with others and not expect anything back. I might come back to addressing this when I’ve figured it out.
But as a closing note, I do realize that the blog has its bad points as a medium because conversation and discussion seems one-way. But I say that it doesn’t have to be so. Everyone has my e-mail, comments can be made. And if need be I am happy to have a phone call to continue the discussion, my word definitely does not need to be last; just keep in mind that if you do call me, I will get freaked out haha! That’s once again just my fault. Thank you all for reading my blog, for calling me, for correcting, and I hope you can take something back from my future and previous posts!