Well after a long 5 months, it is nearly the end of the first chapter of my uni life. But as i expected, everything has been a fairly large change for me, no doubt about it. And now it’s time to look back, review the things that have happened this semester, and see what appropriate changes can be made for the future. I guess it’s also more than just uni life for me, but all aspects of my life, and the transition into uni I guess.
Well first thing is first. I honestly did think that starting uni early and ending early was he best possible combination. I still believe that, however, that is not the best lifestyle for me. I have been struggling really badly because of my stupid 9am starts everyday and it’s just broken me down really badly. It’s not depression but it just simply exhausts me too fast.
So one thing I am definitely changing is those 9am starts. Next semester, as you all know, I have my beautiful one 9am start plus two 11am starts; now that is a beautiful timetable, with only one hour break each day; also efficient. I found myself wasting a fair amount of time this semester during breaks and stuff; I guess it has been good to be able to catch up with people that have a break at the same time that I do and I’m thankful for those times. But perhaps I need to learn to utilize my time more efficiently for other things next semester.
One thing is for sure, my three-day week is sure to bring in more new changes, hopefully I’ll be able to adapt to those too. But enough of next semester; let’s review this semester.
Both my maths courses have proven to be moderately easy; not too much trouble which is good. All my exams so far have been close to 100% which is what I’m fairly pleased about. People in Actuarial Maths are fairly nice and smart (obviously). But there were a few people I found a bit annoying; there is one notably struggling person, who, even though he is doing well in the class tests, is pretty much a fail in the course. He’s always interrupting the lectures and the tutorials (he’s in both of mine >.<”) and seems to always say to most pathetic things, such as “will this be in the finals?” and “do we have to know this if we just want to pass?”
The other maths course has been even easier; but it’s the one that produced that five-day timetable I have this semester. Who has ever heard of a course where the four hours worth of lectures is split into four 1-hour lectures over four different days? Now that just kills my timetable; yet had I known that it was a simple course, I would’ve isolated a day with just one of those lectures and then I’d have at least a four day week.
Microeconomics has been alright; not that bad a course. But then the people in my tutorial aren’t very bright, nor very fluent in English either haha! That is why I decided to skip just one of them today, the last day of semester, that’s all right. But as for accounting, oh boy, I hate that course so much. Not because it was hard, but because of how appalling it was run. Purely disgusting. Of course if you have read my Facebook note, then you’ll know what I’m talking about. It’s been pretty much just as bad for the rest of the course which is disappointing. But hopefully if I do well enough in it at the end then it wouldn’t matter how bad I’ve put up with it haha!
Oh yeah, perhaps the biggest change has been at church. Apart from the fact that we had moved location this year; our youth group had a makeover with new leaders: us! It’s been fun working with my fellow sisters whom I’ve grown up with; get to know them a bit better. But I guess it’s good to help them gain experience in leading; it certainly has been different from leading back at Soul Purpose, so in a way I’ve had to grow a lot as well this semester. But it’s been a bit hard finding the right balance between uni work and church work; somehow I feel like I haven’t put as much effort into church but hopefully I’ll be able to fix this up for next semester, with more free time.
One thing that’s sort of been hidden in my life is RICE; haven’t really done much for it yet; but I sort of know that’s it’s going to pick up suddenly like a roller coaster because once the planning is done, we will have to suddenly pour in all the work; but yes being part of the tech team is going to be a great learning opportunity for me, as this iw sort of what I am doing at church haha!
Apart from these two things, I still need to be involved in a Christian life at uni, which means CBS, and soon to come: MYC; another 5-day camp. Man I’ve been to so many Christian camps this year, this will be the third one? Yeah. So busy but I guess it’s good for growth haha!
On that point of having a Christian life, sometimes I sit back and procrastinate but then I slip back and reflect on my Christian growth over the years since high school. Sometimes I still can’t figure out how I got to where I am today; some kid who wasn’t interested in God and by year 9 I developed some massive change which I still don’t know what and poof! Here I am today the leader of a youth group, slowing studying through more theology and getting involved in a lot of Christian stuff.
It sometimes scares me to wonder how I got here. Or why I am here. One of the things I used to lack was a testimony, and still thinking back, I really didn’t have a good reason to believe in God or give my life to Him. Why I did it is still something I need to think about. But one thing is for certain: I have no regrets of it. I guess I’m happy at how my life has changed because of Him. I have some nice brothers and sisters at church who I can talk to at most times; share a few laughs here and there. And then it’s been an important link for making friends at uni; just flock with the Asians who are Christians haha!
It’s funny though because now if I do plan to meet new people, I’m more inclined to meet Christians rather than any other type of people. Like for instance, I was going to attend my Actuarial Studies camp this semester break, but instead I opted to go to MYC. I had wanted to make some friends in my own course, but then I figured that I would make better friendships at MYC with other Christians because by nature we have grown to be loving towards one another; so I guess I can depend on them (whoever they may be) to be friendly, inviting and loving towards me; and in effect Christians do manage to create a really loving atmosphere which draws others to them.
And following from that note on a Christian atmosphere; I guess I sometimes feel like encouraging the same feelings not only at church but also within my own circle of friends. I know that it is disrespectful to say Jesus was merely a good moral teacher, but I guess to others that is all He is, but to be able to take his teachings and apply them is better than nothing; so that’s why I would like to encourage themes like accountability and stuff to my group; to create a more loving environment for others to enjoy; isn’t that what friendship is?
And onto the last thing at the moment; the transition from high school to university has indeed opened new doors for everyone; and more responsibilities, but has also closed other doors. One of the things that has been bugging me the entire semester is to do with friends. It somewhat feels hard to keep in touch with certain people now; and I wonder what we can actually do when we become separated with circumstances we can’t control. Do we try to fight against them, hoping to overcome a new barrier and maintain a friendship? Or do we just let it go, admit that our friend has faded deep into the background and just take on a whole new set of people to be around with?
One of the things I have really hated to see this semester is having to let people go because we can’t reach them anymore because of something we can’t control. And so what? D we really just give up on our friends, and just take up new ones? Where is the honour in a friendship then if something changes slightly in our lives and suddenly we find ourselves out of touch with a friend. And then what? Why bother making new friends then, when we are probably going to lose them too at the end of university. Why bother forming any relationship at all if it isn’t going to last? Are the people around us merely tools to satisfy our loneliness as human beings? How pathetic indeed the human race is if this is how we view relationships, which God has designed us to have.
I know a few people I find hard to let go over this semester; it’s been hard holding onto the ones I already have and then suddenly a few people fall away. Even a group effort hasn’t been able to break down our barrier T.T” And I lost a close friend as well; makes me wonder why people want to move on and meet new people who are easy to stay in touch with when they haven’t even learnt how to hold onto the friends they already have. It just makes me feel bad not being to hold onto them, forcing me to meet new people. I mean that’s not a bad thing but the cost of it all is a bit too annoying to bear.
Well a lot of things have happened this semester; and plenty of more things are still to come next semester. I do hope that I make the right decisions for new time. But even if I don’t I’m sure God will see through it all, and that I’ll also learn from them haha; growth is the most important thing at the moment. But yes, now is the time to relax a bit and to prepare for the upcoming final exxams; I don’t believe them to be much, but then again, who knows?
MYC to look forward to!